Who do you think keeps the Dread Beast Mister from killing the brownies when they come to clean up your apartment? We do! Who lays low the mice and rats and ugly big spiders who might crawl into your bed and nibble on your toes? We do! Fear not, Za-Lord! Neither the foulest of rats nor the cleverest of insects shall disturb your home while we draw breath!— Toot-Toot to Harry Dresden, the “Za-Lord”The Za-Lord's Guard provides information and aid to Harry Dresden on numerous occasions throughout the series.(references needed)
The name Za-Lord is short for Pizza Lord; the moniker stemming from the fact that Dresden often offers them pizza in exchange for assistance. The Guard is a comprised of small fae, Wee Folk, under the leadership of Toot-Toot, usually armed with bottle caps as armor and cocktail swords, box knives, and the like for weapons.
In Turn Coat, Dresden gives Toot the task to form a militia and asks how many he can get. Toot tells Dresden that for him, "every sprite and pixie and dew drop faerie within a hundred miles" knows that that he saved their kind from Lara Raith, and that there's "not a one who didn't have a comrade or kin languishing" in her prisons, so they would all help him.
The Za-Lord's Guard mostly hang around Dresden's place hoping for extra pizza and protect it from wee threats. They give Dresden their loyalty, albeit erratic, for a regular supply of pizza. Toot-Toot and his folks have done some very helpful tasks for Dresden and saved him more than once.
The Za-Lord's Militia is created, recruiting more fairies. Unlike the Guard, which is full-time, the Militia is only called on occasion. Dresden also pronounces Toot-Toot "Major-General Toot-Toot Minimus commanding the Za-Lord's Elite".
In Changes, Dresden states that people greatly underestimate the Little Folk. Within their limits, they are "as good or better than anything else for getting information". There are a lot of them in Chicago willing to help Dresden out.
Dresden informs Sanya he can call upon Toot-Toot and about a hundred smaller ones, plus five times that many part-timers are small fae. They don't "serve" him, as Sanya put it. They have a business arrangement they all like. They help him and he provides regular pizza for them.
The Za-Lord's Guard is recognizable by the orange plastic casings on the box-cutters they wear strapped to their backs, as a way to distinguish the Guard from the Militia.
Quasi-militarly organized, its ranks are (in descending order):
- Major General
- Kernel (Colonel)
- Caption (Captain)
- Loo Tender (Lieutenant)
- Star Jump (Sergeant)
- Corpse Oral (Corporal)
- First Class Privy (Private, First Class)
- Second Class Privy (Private, Second Class)
In the seriesEdit
In Summer Knight, in their early beginnings, before they get a name, Harry Dresden has recruited Toot-Toot and his fellow faeries. Dresden pays them in pizza. Dresden learns that the Winter Lady in Undertown and the Summer Lady is in some high-rise. Toot assigns Elidee to be Dresden's guide to the Winter Lady through Undertown. Later, to assist him in the battle between the Summer Court and the Winter Court. At the epilogue of the book, Dresden is able to defeat Aurora and stop her from defeating the Winter Court.
In Small Favor, Harry Dresden calls Toot-Toot ask him to find out what the Wee Folk know about the use of black magic to destroy a building. But before Toot could get the information, three gruffs with guns come after Dresden. During the harrowing chase, Toot's guides Dresden away from the gruffs while the rest of the Za-Lord's Guard formed a perimeter of glowing balls of light that moved with him —a "wary ring of sentinels".
In Turn Coat, Toot-Toot, the Guard and the new Militia join Harry Dresden in the big showdown on Demonreach. They help by contributing to fireworks, attacking the flanks of the Grey Men, putting a guard around Billy and Georgia Borden incapacitated by the White Court vampire's mojo.
In Changes, Toot-Toot and the Guard's mission is to locate Susan Rodriguez who's gone missing. He finds her being held at the FBI Headquarters. After they succeed, the Za-Lord's Guard and the Militia descend upon a stack of pizzas like a scene out of The Birds. Hundreds of tiny fae rush in with twinkles and flashes of color and their wings beating the wind.
In Cold Days, Toot-Toot and the Guard pick up Harry Dresden at the portal from Arctis Tor in the Munstermobile. The guard does battle with Captain Hook and her group of Wee Folk. Later, Dresden assigns the Guard to spread out to key points around Lake Michigan seeking the location of where a ritual spell might be set up so that Dresden and his team can stop it.
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 Small Favor, ch. 5
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 2.8 Summer Knight, ch. 13
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Summer Knight, ch. 33
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 Turn Coat, ch. 38
- ↑ Turn Coat, ch. 21
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 Changes, ch. 33
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 Cold Days, ch. 9
- ↑ Small Favor, ch. 7
- ↑ Turn Coat, ch. 42 & 43
- ↑ Cold Days, ch. 12
- ↑ Cold Days, ch. 28